why Germany lost the semi final

A LOL, and (maybe) sarcastic attempt at analysing Germany’s loss to Spain in the semi finals of the World Cup 2010.

Disclaimer: This is not a dig at Spain or Germany. I like the German team. Spain, no, I’m not a big fan. But they’ve got some fantastic talents. So, fans of either team, I’m not laughing at you or your team.

This is just a lame attempt at humour.

Alright, so why did Germany lose. They were awesome in the earlier games, scoring 4 each against England and Argentina in the knockouts, and another 4 against Australia in the group stages. Ok, they lost to Serbia, but that was a minor blip.

So, what happened in the semi final? Why couldn’t ze Germans play the beautiful game they were playing prior to the semi final?

Let’s try to get to the bottom of this mystery. There could be many reasons why they didn’t win.

One – Their most famous cheer leader was banned from attending the semi final.

Two – Thomas Muller was missing, having picked up two yellows. Is one player so very important to a team that his absence caused them to fold up? Maybe. Maybe not.

Three – Maybe Loew got his calculations wrong. They depended too much on the counter attacks, but with Spain hogging all ball possession, there was no escape route for a counter.

Four – Joachim Loew forgot his lucky sweater.

Five  – And I think this is the real reason why Germany lost. Spain bored them to death with their short passes, and ball possession.

Look, here’s how Spain play. Let’s say they have a goal kick. The ball begins its travel this way

Casillas passes to Puyol, who passes it to Busquets. Busquets passes it to Alonso and from Alonso it goes to Ramos, who passes it to Xavi. Xavi makes a couple of step overs, and then passes it to Iniesta. Now, Iniesta being a Barca player has to show some fancy step overs, and back heels. So, he does exactly that and passes the ball to Capdevilla, who immediately passes it to Torres. Torres, since he’s out of touch, gives it to Villa. Phew!

Ok, now Villa has the ball at his feet, and he takes it to the edge of the box. And instead of shooting at the goal, he passes it back to Xavi, who then passes it to Ramos, who passes it to Alonso, and well, you get the idea.

This 10 million passes cycle continues till the 70th minute. By then the opponents have already started plucking their eyelashes due to extreme boredom, and because they haven’t touched the ball for the past 20 minutes.

So, after about 70 minutes into the game, one of Spain’s players decides to take a dive and get a free kick, or a corner, or if he’s really lucky, a penalty. By then, the opponents are so damn frustrated that they do not realise that they have to defend the set piece, and concede a goal.

So, goal to Spain, and there’s still some 15 odd minutes for the whistle. They start the pass game again. After 90 minutes, the referee signals full time, and Spain yet again get a 1-0 victory!

This, running around in circles, frustrated the German team so much that they kind of gave up at half time, and decided to play in the third place playoff. No more semi finals, no more running after the ball, no more having to watch the short passes.

If you really don’t buy my theory, Just blame Paul

Here’s a graphical representation of Spain’s “beautiful game”

The beautiful game

The beautiful game

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3 thoughts on “why Germany lost the semi final

  1. Pingback: Congrats Spain! « A piece of my mind

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